Yesterday and today [almost] that is.
Yesterday evening was Chris’s wake. This morning was Chris’s funeral/burial.
It was HARD!!
When we got there last night, we made sure to get there a little early. I knew it was going to be crowded. Ric and I waited in the car for my parents, I was NOT going in there without them. They got there the same time my lil sis got there. (Big bro lives in CO, so he couldn’t be there). I was extremely thankful to have my husband and my family there with me. We went inside and got in the short line (at the time) to go up and see Chris. I HATE that. It didn’t even look like him really. Does it ever really look like them? Mom was in front and as soon as Star (Chris’s Mom) saw her, she broke down. I think they hugged for a good five minutes. Then it was my turn. I gave Star a hug and she whispered in my ear, “Kissyfer is gone.” I lost it. Reality sunk in at that time. I’m tearing up remembering it. After her and I hugged for a while, it was Ric’s turn. All I heard is, “My baby gone. Why is my baby gone?” That poor lady. . .for her to have to go through this AGAIN. It just doesn’t seem fair! After we got through, that is when people started POURING in. The line was wrapped around the whole funeral home, even out the door. It did that continuously for at least 2 hours. He had so many friends and loved ones.
Today at the funeral we did the traditional praying and such and then said good-bye. Gosh was that rough. I had the picture of him and I at my wedding printed out and put it in his casket as I said good-bye. I nestled it in his arm near his Cowboys football. He was a Cowboys fan since he was a little boy. Ric had on his purple (Chris’s favorite color) and his Cowboys watch on. . .just for Chris.
I can’t believe it is over. . .I can’t believe he is gone. This can’t be happening!
There are other things you find out, stuff you hear, etc. after the initial shock. Like, Chris was at work. He was carrying an aluminum ladder that hit 6000 volts of electricity. That is what caused this. The owner of the construction company should have known that he needed to have fiberglass ladders for his employees, but I guess that just wasn’t important. I hope it is now, after such a tragedy. The owner is taking care of all the funeral expenses, THANKFULLY. I think it is his duty. IMO. A friend of my BFF works as an EMT. He told her that Chris wasn’t gone when they got there. On the way to the hospital in the ambulance Chris fought to stay alive, he took his last breath in the ambulance.
The tears will NOT stop. I thought they would after this morning.
I just wish they would stop. When can I be happy again? When can I start to think about all the good times we had?
I love you Kissyfer!